About Me

• Gender: Female
• Nickname: Jafer
• Age: I’m 56 fucking years old. Can you believe it?
• Sign: Sagittarius
• Country: Canada
• Status: Married
• Mother: 1 boy, 1 girl
• Grandmother: 1 boy
• Zodiac: Monkey
• Employment: IT Department, huge company
• Hobbies: Working on stuff

I will answer to Jaf, Jafer, Idiot, or Stick.

I accept emails at idiotonastick[ATSIGN]yahoo.ca or you can use the email form on this site.

The Basics

Hair Color: Brown with lots of grey
Eye Color: Brown (or red)
Height: 5’7″ shrinking down to 5’6″
Profession: Job
Relationship Status: Happily taken

My Favorites

Favorite Color: Purple
Favorite Car: I like a nice Mercedes sedan
Favorite Movie: Pulp Fiction
Favorite Hobby: Surfing the web
Favorite Song/Singer: U2
Favorite Book/Author: Dean Koontz
Favorite School Subject: Art
Favorite Vacation Destination: Anywhere (I don’t get out much)
Favorite Food: Scallops
Favorite Animal: Dogs and budgies
Favorite Store: Costco
Favorite Celebrity : Jay Leno
Favorite Childhood Friend: I liked them all and there were many since we moved around a lot
Favorite Childhood Memory: I don’t think I have one
Favorite Person In Your Life: My honey

This or That

Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla but sometimes chocolate
Big Mac or Whopper: Big Mac
Coke or Pepsi : Neither
Beer or Wine: Beer
Coffee or Tea: Coffee
Apple Juice or O.J.: Apple Juice
Facebook or MySpace: Facebook
Summer or Winter: Summer
Windows or Mac: Windows
Cats or Dogs: Dogs
Boxers or Briefs: Women’s boxers always ride up your ass
Rain or Shine : Shine
Chips or Popcorn: Chips most of the time
Salty or Sweet: Salty
Plane or Boat: Plane
Morning or Night: Night
Movie or Play: Movie
Walk or Drive: Drive
Money or Love: Money
Breakfast or Dinner: Dinner
Forgiveness or Revenge: Revenge
Paint or Wallpaper: Paint
House or Apartment: Apartment

Do You?

Have Any Pets: No
Have Any Children: Yes but I think I’ve disowned one
Smoke: When I’m not quitting
Drink: Only at night
Exercise: Jumping to conclusions
Play On A Sports Team: Used to play baseball
Belong To Any Organizations: Only jewellery stuff
Love Your Job: It’s paying some of the bills
Like To Cook: No, but I’m a good cook
Play An Instrument: I played the piano
Sing: along with my iTunes
Dance: Only if I’m half corked
Speak Multiple Languages: Nope
Ice Skate: I figure skated as a kid
Swim: I can but I only do it if I’m working out
Paint: With my computer
Write: A magazine article once, Minister’s speeches, my blog
Ski: Never want to be out in the cold
Juggle: What am I, a circus freak?

Have You Ever

Stolen Anything: Yep
Been Drunk Before Noon: Yep
Had Sex In A Public Place: Yep
Got Caught Telling A Lie: Yep
Got A Speeding Ticket: Nope
Been Arrested: Yep
Littered: Yep
Fantasized About A Co-Worker: Yep
Cheated On A Test: Yep
Cheated In A Relationship: Yep
Failed A Class: Yep
Screened Your Phone Calls: Yep
Eaten Food Off The Floor: Yep
Stuck Gum Under A Desk: Nope
Wished You Were Someone Else: Yep
Cried During A Movie: Yep
Had A One Night Stand: Yep

Other

Describe Yourself In One Word: Zzzzzz
Biggest Fear: Losing my honey
Biggest Mistake: Marrying two other people
Your Proudest Accomplishment: Beating my mother on an exam – 96%
#1 Priority In Your Life: Finding a great job – or at least a good paying one
Dream Job: Using all the knowledge I have (although that would probably make it 3 jobs)
Causes You Believe In: I don’t know if I believe in any causes
Special Talents: I’m fairly creative
Where Are You Right Now: In the computer room *duh*
Where Would You Rather Be: In the computer room
Famous Person You Want To Meet: Nobody
Place To Visit Before You Die: Any place outside North America
Song Played At Your Funeral: Into the Mystic by Van Morrison

I had to do that because I saw it at a friend’s site. If you haven’t learned enough about me with that, you can slog through the 100 things below which are really only 95 cuz I got tired of thinking.

   100 Things

1. On the net, I am now going by the name “Jafer”.
2. The reason for the secret name is because I was dooced in 2004 when bosses at work found my other blog.
3. I’ve never really had a nickname, but I wouldn’t mind one.
4. U2 is one of my favourite bands.
5. I am an only child
6. Sometimes I’m a big crybaby, crying over the littlest things – which may include commercials. I’m a silent crier – tears just start streaming down my cheeks.
7. I have had 3 weddings of my own.
8. I’ve given birth to 3 children.
9. I’ve only ever had 2 jobs which I enjoyed and found challenging.
10. I have been working for over 25 years, although I have no pension to show for all my years of work.
11. I swear quite a bit.
12. I love to drink light beer, but not really other types of alcohol.
13. I broke my right arm in two places when I was in grade 7.
14. I dislocated my shoulder when I was in my 30′s while playing baseball.
15. I have been in love many times but I’ve never had as much love from someone as I have right now.
16. I sometimes get depressed, and it usually stems from anger. When I’m depressed I most often think of suicide.
17. The only thing that’s stopped me from suicide on many occasions is thinking about the effect on my kids.
18. I was raised Catholic and even went to a convent. It was at the convent where I broke my arm because a nun wanted me to blow my sniffly nose and I wouldn’t do that in public, and then tripped going down the stairs to blow my nose.
19. The first boy I ever had a crush on was named Joseph Puliz. I was in grade 5 and he taught me to play chess (not well, just the basics). I switched schools in grade 6 and sang a love song about Joseph into a tape recorder. Someone in class found the tape and played it for everyone. I denied it was me singing and was embarrassed to death.
20. The second boy I ever had a crush on was named Michael Shulist. I was in grade 7.
21. I cheated on my math quizzes in grade 6. From grade 4 onward I was always really bad at math. I studied accounting later because it was the only math I could do.
22. I always believed that "girls were smarter" than boys. That may just be because the boys were always talking about how stupid girls were. When I was a kid it was ok to discriminate against boys or girls.
23. Boys used to pull up the girls’ dresses when I was very young.
24. When I was a teenager I got caught shoplifting and was not allowed into Shoppers’ Drug Mart for a year.
25. I was shoplifting sunglasses in the middle of winter. I never stole anything again.
26. I love learning new stuff that interests me but if it seems too difficult at first, I’ll probably give it up. Later on I may go back to it.
27. Sometimes I sit at my computer singing along with the songs on my iTunes. I have recorded myself singing along with songs. Although my honey says I have a beautiful voice, I have a hideous singing voice, but I do have perfect relative pitch so I can hear whenever anyone is "off the note" even a tiny bit.
28. Whenever I buy lottery tickets I fantasize about how I will split up the money. Sometimes I fantasize about what I’d do with the money even when I’ve forgotten to buy tickets.
29. I would love to own my own home but I’m not good at saving money.
30. I love to spend money shopping, but even though I enjoy buying things I always feel guilty for spending all that money.
31. For a little while, I was an Avon Lady.
32. I am a computer geek (but not as far as programming stuff goes).
33. Buying computer stuff is the most fun I have shopping.
34. Clothes are next on my list.
35. I hardly ever buy CDs anymore, I download songs from Limewire.
36. I’m not too comfortable with confrontation. Confrontation usually makes me shake. I am usually the one to instigate a confrontation.
37. I cannot back down or let things go if I believe in them.
38. I’m not a patient person.
39. I’m not a patient mother.
40. I am not here for my kids’ entertainment.
41. I am here to see that my kids learn all the things they’re going to need in life.
42. I love cloud pictures and sunset pictures.
43. I wish I was a good photographer but it doesn’t interest me enough to study it.
44. Politics really don’t interest me but I will vote.
45. Voting is only picking the least of the evils.
46. I worked in a self-serve gas station when I was a kid.
47. I was robbed at the self-serve gas station.
48. I left home at an early age.
49. I am an only child, although I had an invisible friend when I was really young. I can’t remember her name, but she did all the stuff that I wasn’t supposed to do.
50. I couldn’t stand my mother.
51. I never knew my father but I’ve heard that he was a drunk. Who knows how prejudicial that opinion is, since it’s my mother’s. Then at 50, a different man showed up, saying that he was my father.
52. I was a little backwards socially growing up. I always acted too young for my age.
53. I still act too young for my age but it doesn’t matter now.
54. My hair is grey at the sides, and I have quite a bit of grey throughout now. I’m dying my hair now – mostly brownish.
55. I don’t think I’m aging well. It scares me to look at me.
56. I am a loner, willing and able to do things by myself, but I love being in crowds, being stupid and having fun.
57. I don’t much care what people think of me, overall, and I certainly have a shitload of negative opinions about stupid people.
58. I do like people to like me and it makes me angry when they don’t treat me the way I expect them to.
59. I usually say things too straightforwardly, even though I think I’ve "filtered" them in my head.
60. I don’t mind watching porn, but I prefer the close-ups.
61. I probably think I’m smarter than I really am.
62. My ideal job would be a mix of managing the office, mixed with webmaster and training others in computer software.
63. Some people find me intimidating but I don’t know why.
64. I try to force myself not to show how stupid I find some people.
65. I can be quite mouthy.
66. I am astounded by people who don’t have oral sex.
67. If I won millions I would put a lot of the money into making my companies bigger and better.
68. I would like to visit Egypt to see the pyramids. But I’ve heard there are tons of bugs in Egypt, so I will probably never go (aside from not being able to afford it).
69. I can no longer ride a rollercoaster because of fear. My fear started in my last car accident.
70. I don’t think I can go to the CN Tower again because of a fear of heights now. UPDATE: I did go up to the top in the CN Tower and I handled it well except for the part where there was a glass floor.
71. I can’t drive onto certain ramps on the highway because they freeze me up with fear.
72. In winter, I most often wear black but will throw some bright colours in there with it. I’m one of those types of people that has to match everything… clothing, jewellery, underwear.
73. I can’t stand pretentious people.
74. I believe in lust at first sight.
75. If I had found my honey when I was younger, I may not have been able to appreciate him.
76. The first album I ever bought was Elton John’s Madman across the Water
77. My old motto was, “life’s too boring to be sober”. My new motto is, “I don’t drink any more… then again, I don’t drink any less”.
78. I am an over-indulger in everything I do… there are no midways.
79. Sex doesn’t mean a helluva lot to me any more even though it’s always good. But I have to get ‘into a mood’ in order to want it.
80. I am probably one of the most sarcastic people you’d ever meet. It’s not necessarily negative, but a predominant aspect of my personality.
81. Sometimes people don’t know when I’m joking. I usually consider those people stupid.
82. I have to have everything. I think I pretty much do have everything. So why am I still shopping?
83. I think everybody has to say “thank you”. I get pissed off when I do something for someone and they don’t say thank you. It’s all I wanted from them, no matter how much I give.
84. I want the world to close their mouths when they’re eating or chewing gum. If they don’t, I want to elbow them in the face.
85. I hardly ever laugh out loud. I’m more of a smiler than a laugher. I usually smile with my mouth closed, no big toothy shots for me.
86. I always want to give people stuff. That doesn’t mean I always do, but I do it quite a bit.
87. If I were a carpenter, and you were a lady, would you marry me anyway, would you have my baby?
88. I love to write my own songs, sometimes just a tune, sometimes with words that go with it. They’re not necessarily good.
89. Sometimes I write down words so I’ll remember later that I want to write a song about it.
90. I’m not fond of hairy backs, but I’d choose the hairy back over a back covered in acne. I’ve experienced both.
91. I will never again tell anyone how many people I’ve slept with.
92. I have all vices… smoking, drinking, coffee, swearing, sex alone or with, overall self-indulgence.
93. I have no idea what my kids think about me, and I don’t think they know what I think about them.
94. I went to my mother’s funeral when she died, even though I always thought that I wouldn’t.
95. I forget lots of stuff now, and yet I can usually win in any trivia game.

That’s all I can think of.