Happy Pirate Day Everyone

I got this day into my desktop calendar, so obviously I’m remembering it *yarr*.

I’m still staying at home, I should do some laundry today, cuz I’ve got a bunch of laundry to do. I hate to wake up my snookey this early though, even though he said ‘yes, we should go at 7:30′. I’ll see if he wakes up at 10:00 and we’ll go, or go to breakfast and then go.

I had some weird stuff going on after my biopsy – one of them was being back in the hospital. At the day after the biopsy I ended up not being able to speak – or speak any words I was thinking of speaking. Had the ambulance again taking me off to Emergency and upstairs for a few days. My speech came back perfectly the next day – the day after it got here and there. I notice now that some of the words I’m trying to think of go missing and a different word comes out – which is great, I seem so different

I was on a shitload of pills, about 15 a day, the amount changes over a few days so now it’s less. I did have something I’m told is Percoset, although that’s not what the prescription was called. That was supposed to look after any headaches (which were quite strong) and it did. I was almost out of them and called the drug store to get a repeat. Then I was told that can’t happen til they hear from the doctor (when he’s there after the weekend), especially considering it’s a narcotic.

Great. I was scared shitless of becoming addicted to a narcotic but also scared shitless that I’d end up with the headaches again and unable to sleep. For some reason I feel really scared at night now; day time seems good to me. I also have moments of some kind of deja vu that also puts me into some big scary headspace with a bunch of shaking going on in my body. My snookey hugs me threw that one, but one of the doctors tells me that would be my ‘seizure’ except the pills I’m on saves it and changes it to something else so I won’t have a seizure. I don’t know about you, but I feel like I could like a seizure more than I like a scary thing.

Anyway, for the past few days I have seemed a little healthier. My mouth would hardly open after the biopsy, so I could only eat smushed stuff. The max opening was about a finger’s width – now it’s up to almost two tight finger widths so I could probably eat something else (not a hamburger).

I’ve lost some weight, which I like, but I would have preferred if it would lose more off my stomach than off the rest of me. I suppose the stomach’s not that big so I shouldn’t complain, but I’d like my body to do stuff I’d like. Clothes I’ve bought in a smaller size are now seeming bigger as well, so maybe after we do laundry everything will get smaller.

I don’t see the surgeon til the 26th, so I assume at that time he tells me when we start the radiation and chemotherapy for this special ‘glioma’. I heard that stuff makes you really pukey, but I met with a woman who had a treatment like that (not for the same stuff) and she didn’t get sick, so I’m hoping for that.

I’d also be happy if this thing kills off the cancer/tumour so I no longer have to take the non-seizure pills – and then am allowed to be driving again, of course. I can’t stand not being able to drive. I’d like to be back to who I am (who was not too scary feeling). Whether I get sick from therapy or not, maybe I’ll end up good. I hear a future of radiation twice a day, 5 days a week for 7 weeks. Sounds pretty busy to me and a helluva lot of hospital parking money.

Anyway, I’ll yap again about my big whining.