Recap on my Life

I guess I could honestly say that this year I had the shittiest birthday and Christmas ever. Shitty as in, “couldn’t you at the very least have bought me a card?”.

My kids, whom I’ve spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on for their birthdays and Christmases, couldn’t even buy me a card, let alone a present, for either occasion.

When I asked my daughter about a birthday present, she said she had no money. And it’s true that she lost her allowance that week to help pay off some of the videos on demand that she had ordered without my knowledge, but what about the rest of the year when I give her allowance every week.

I asked her why she didn’t even make me a card and she came up with the excuse that I wouldn’t like it.

My son didn’t even remember to call me until the next day. He apologized and said that he had thought that day was the 19th. There was no card, no gift, no nothing.

And for Christmas, both showed up empty-handed. The gift I did get for my birthday (from my mother and aunt) was money, and I used that money to buy the Christmas dinner. So my one of three gifts turned out to be for someone else. There’s real Christmas spirit for ya.

I understand that my son has not been working a lot lately. But on those days that he did work, could he not have taken $5 of his money because his mother’s birthday was coming up? Perhaps buy a card at least? Even inviting me over for dinner would have been an option for someone with no money.

I feel like I’ve been making excuses for these kids (kids… one is 14 and one is 27) for years now over their thoughtlessness and selfishness. I’m not going to do it any more.

Christ knows, that even when it’s my birthday, I’m hearing from my daughter about what gifts she wants for her birthday – in May.

You know what my kids are getting for their birthdays this year? The same thing that they’re going to get for Christmas, which is double what they gave me. Two times nothing equals nothing. And if they don’t know why, I’ll be happy to let them in on it.

I will wish a happy birthday to each of them, twice, because they did wish me a happy birthday.

I guess I’m mad about this because I’m hurt; hurt that I mean absolutely nothing to these kids. Oh yes, give me everything and anything, mom, I’ll take, take, take. But don’t expect me to spend any thoughts or money for you.

The gifts I did get were from my snookey, he’s always caring and thoughtful and thinking of others. He got me just what I wanted, which was a jewellery course in March. I’m signed up and ready to go to that.

Then he also surprised me later on with this digital gauge. This thing measures bead sizes. I had looked at one myself, but I couldn’t afford to spend that kinda money on myself, just to measure beads.

I was quite surprised and thrilled that he’d gotten this for me, all because he saw me looking at it one day a few months ago. He always amazes me.

And for Christmas he got me the gift of beads online, I told him about some beads I wanted to get, so he’s buying those for me.

There is something nice in my life. There is someone who cares about me. I have to be happy with just that because I’ve given up on everyone else.