What I Want from a Man
My farting post the other day (no the post wasn’t farting) left me thinking about the “strict” criteria I now have for being with someone. Not that I’m looking, I’m perfectly happy with the man of my dreams, but in the hypothetical situation that, ‘if I were looking’, I now know exactly (or pretty much exactly) what I want (or more precisely, “don’t want”) in a partner.
It only took me about 50 years to finally figure this stuff out. I keep thinking that if I had grown up with a father I might have had an inkling about what to look for, but I didn’t. So when I was younger, all I knew (or thought) I was looking for in a man was, a good sense of humour, good looks, and someone taller than me. That wasn’t too hard to fit the bill.
Things I know I don’t want in a partner, are as follows. I now know specifics. I don’t want someone:
- who farts in front of me
- who spends all (or a lot) of his time watching sports on TV
- who doesn’t give a flying farg about things that interest me
- who thinks that it’s a “woman’s job” to do the cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids
- who thinks it’s their right to get sex on demand
- who doesn’t pull their own weight
- who doesn’t shower daily
- who drinks to excess, either drinking too much or too often or both
- who’s not in tune with foreplay and learning what I like
- who doesn’t want to talk – not constant yammering, but mutual conversations of interest, meaning that we’d have to have a lot in common
- who wants to use my behind as his personal vagina
- who doesn’t follow through on promises made
- who’s not good with money and expects that my money is his
- who would frequent strip bars and actually get off on it
- who doesn’t make me feel as if I’m the special one in his life
How’s that? Is that enough of the negatives? I didn’t include in that list of things, “someone who fucks around on me”, because that’s a bit too obvious. If I were with someone like that they’d either be (a) out the door, or (b) I’d fuck around on them too (probably with one of their close friends) and then they’d be out the door.
So with that said, it’s harder to put into words the positives I’d look for in a man. I really have to base it on what I’ve got now and probably would never find again, so if my snookey dies one day, I think I’ll be single for the rest of my life.
I want someone:
- who has the same beliefs as I do, whether it’s about religion, child-rearing, cleaning up the house, it doesn’t matter, we’re in it together
- who has a good wit and sense of humour
- who’s attractive to me, and that’s changed over the years cuz when I was younger it was more ‘model-ly’ types where now the beauty comes more from within
- who has a good heart and his actions prove it
- who loves me and knows who I am, not just knowing one or two facets of my personality
- who’s good in bed
- who hugs me for no apparent reason other than he felt like hugging me – it’s not ‘to get some’
- who buys me things, anything, just because he was thinking about me and thought I would like it
- who finds me funny (thereby knowing me and enjoying his time with me
That’s about all I can think of right now. I have really learned (after time) exactly what I want and wouldn’t accept. The sad thing is that it’s too bad I didn’t learn this before I married two other people who didn’t fit the bill.
Are there any other things to consider? You tell me. I’ve got what I want (and need) right now and I’m pretty damned thrilled about it. I’m just sorry that it didn’t happen 20 years earlier… my time is limited.
Did you enjoy this post? Why not leave a comment below and continue the conversation, or subscribe to my feed and get articles like this delivered automatically to your feed reader.
idiotonastick
Minna
Dave Barker
I used Moneris for over two years. I recently terminated due to a merchant compliance requiremen t – Moneris began...
Maria
just another
Female, taken, fire, Sagittarius, Monkey, Toronto, two kids, one grandson, IT.
55
is the new 30. I want the world to close their mouths when they’re eating or chewing gum. If they don’t, I want to elbow them in the face.
Hmmm, picky picky.
My ideal woman:
One who remembers my name.