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Apocalypto

I had never intended to rent this movie, but there was nothing else at the video store that I wanted to see. I didn’t expect to like this type of ‘historical’ flick, but I did. The movie was great – very dark, very sickening at times (at one point I actually felt a little queasy), and I guess I’ve come to the conclusion that Mel Gibson is a talented director (with a penchant for fairly graphic violence).

No big actors (that I know) are in this, which is good because you don’t sit there thinking that ‘this is not a role for Luke Skywalker’.

The story is about the Mayans and the tribes being captured and slaughtered to appease the gods. Our protagonist in the film has hidden away his pregnant wife and child to save them from being ravaged but must get back to save them after he’s been captured.

It was very well done even though the storyline doesn’t sound like much. And as I was searching iMDB to see more about the movie, I found this idiotic review of the movie.

Post from y-uva456:

I meet a lot of people who think that this movie was good. I pity them for their ignorance. Here are some reasons why this movie sucks.

I wasn’t aware that this film was supposed to be a documentary. A fictional movie with a fictional character, hmmm. And isn’t ‘histology’ the branch of anatomy that deals with the structure, composition, and function of body tissues? His acquaintances call him “professor” because he’s the big know-it-all.

1. This movie has huge technical and historical mistakes. I am a professor in histology and I found so many things which do not match up. There is no record in history of Mr. Paw, the main character. It seems that this person is merely a figment of Mel Gibson’s imagination.

2. When the Mayans came to take slaves, they must have realized by looking at the village people that they are of the same kind (because of the things in their nose, clothes etc) Why would anyone take slaves from people of their own kind? They can very well use animals for work and sacrifice!

I wish I had that telepathic power to connect with a dead race and tell you what they knew. And how does that reflect on an audience?

3. The black circle covering the sun for a short while was nothing but a solar eclipse. The Mayans knew that. But in the movie it is shown as a magical occurrence and makes educated audiences look like fools.

Oh, Bruce, another missed opportunity.

4. Mel Gibson’s biggest mistake is casting a nobody for the title role. Casting Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Leonardo Di Caprio, 50 Cent, Bruce Willis, Tom Cruise, Arnold Schwazenegger or Jack Black would have been much better for the movie.

5. Mayans were far technologically advanced than shown. They invented the metric system, the number zero and were also familiar with the concept of gravity, which they used in hunting and which is why they built all their houses on the ground.

This is one of those freaks/geeks you see at the theatre who laughs at inappropriate moments and continues to spew forth his vast knowledge of geekery – things he studied from the encyclopedia that no one else knows or cares to know – “This movie’s false, Mayan’s didn’t wear 4 dots across their forehead – it was six!”

6. It is really funny how a big hunting party cannot catch a single man. It looked pathetic and I was laughing throughout the movie at how silly the whole thing was.

7. Who would throw their own wife and son in the well and later come back feeling sorry for them?

8. The movie’s biggest mistake was the stupid temples shown in the Mayan city. How the hell did they find such symmetrical and smooth rocks to build it?

First he tells us Mayan’s were advanced, now they can’t even “smoothen” a rock.

These people were nothing more than jungle savages with no intellect or machinery whatsoever.
Did they have the technology to cut and smoothen rock? I don’t think so!

I guess the concept of the ships out there is not enough, we were supposed to have a close up to see ‘who’ was on the boats.

9. When the Spanish ships are shown in the end, not a single person can be seen on the ships or boats. Maybe they were ghost ships, or maybe Mel Gibson did not want to waste money on hiring more extras.

Oh, the horror – the title should have been latin.

10. If the whole movie is in Latin, why did the director use an English title? Doesnt make sense to me. It was just a gimmick to earn more cash.

There was female and male partial nudity in the film as you’d expect from a tribe living in the wilderness – those Mayan’s hadn’t come up with tracksuits yet. Someone seemed a little too focused on the mens’ asses.

11. People who like this movie must really like the sight of naked man’s asses and are either gay or bisexual. Are you?

I’m sure that after reading this you’ll be convinced that this movie is nothing but hyped garbage.

Don’t watch this crap. Instead watch movies which are much better like Troy, Terminator 3, A lot like Love, Jackass 2 which have far more entertainment and educational histological value. Enough said – this guy recommends “Jackass 2″. What a jackass.

If you’ve already seen this movie and wasted ur time, stop others from watching this crap.

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