Happy Easter
Last night for Easter dinner we went to my aunt and uncle’s place. They had ham, and roast beef, and broccoli, and green beans, and turnip, and carrot, and yorkshire pudding, and rolls, and scalloped potatoes, and cheesecake and ice cream for dessert.
We’re on a stinking diet. We could eat the roast beef, broccoli and green beans. Mmm, mmm, mmm, who needs yorkshire pudding and scalloped potatoes when you can have roast beef, broccoli and green beans? I was very good about it – didn’t cheat at all. My snookey cheated a bit and had some turnip and some gravy.
For dessert we had some strawberries dipped in chocolate. I know those are allowed on Phase 2 of the diet, so I allowed myself two of them, after all, I’m only a day away from Phase 2.
My mother was at the dinner. There were also little chocolate Lindor easter eggs which my mother chose to peel the foil from and eat one. She ate one. She peeled three. She peeled three while holding them tightly and mushing the chocolates in her hands and then said she didn’t want them. A little while after that she proceeded to eat the foil off the easter eggs. I told her it was foil and she said she knew – she was just trying to get all the delicious goodness off the foil from the chocolates she didn’t eat.
We drove her home and I took her up to her room in the home. That was a half-hour ordeal because of course there was no nurse at the desk. I finally flagged someone down from down the hallway and she came and got a new bracelet put on her. My mother has to wear a special bracelet that keeps her on the floor of her home – won’t let her off – some special kind of spywear gadget so she can’t escape (like she used to do… wander right out the door and have some business down the street calling the home to say they’d caught an old person).
So she picked up the newspaper at the nurse’s station and the nurse told her she could take it to her room to read. I took her there, hung up her coat and told her to sit and read her paper and that I’d see her later.
She said, “where are you going?”, and I said, “I’m going home”. She said, “well I’m not staying here if you’re going down home, I’m going too”. She seems to think that I come from the same province she did – which was PEI and that whoever I am, I’m from down there. I said, “this is your home”, and she said, “there’s no way I live here”, and I said “yes you do, and I’ve gotta go home, this is your home”.
She wasn’t having any of it. She didn’t know WrTF she was but she wasn’t staying. So I had to sprint outta there before I ended up with her as my houseguest or something. Aren’t holidays grand? Next time I’m gonna let somebody else drive her home. She didn’t know WoTF I was anyway, thought I was a guy again (you know everybody with short hair is a man).
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idiotonastick
Minna
Dave Barker
I used Moneris for over two years. I recently terminated due to a merchant compliance requiremen t – Moneris began...
Maria
just another
Female, taken, fire, Sagittarius, Monkey, Toronto, two kids, one grandson, IT.
55
is the new 30. I want the world to close their mouths when they’re eating or chewing gum. If they don’t, I want to elbow them in the face.
The problem with losing your mind is you forget you lost it in the first place.
What was the question?
Who are all you people?
Wheres the chocolate.