Denise Austin $3 Screw
Got a call from the mechanic today saying that they couldn’t get that coil spring in today after all, it would be tomorrow. So I didn’t pick up my car tonight, with any luck that will happen tomorrow night.
I’m just waiting to drive my new “powerful” car – powerful as in the new starter with the new battery working together and vroom vroom vroom ← much underused phrase, motor on home.
Other than that, I’m just sitting around being a big cow. I gotta lose some weight let me tell ya. I need clothes that fit.
I had signed up for this online Denise Austin “lose weight and exercise, you pig” club, and getting the free two-week trial to test it out, but what I found was that I was hardly ever checking my email where I’d get the reminder to go to the “stop eating you fat hippo” link.
I’d check my email at work in the mornings cuz I didn’t get a chance the night before, and of course you don’t want to spend a whole bunch of time with your emails at work since you’re ‘sneak-reading’ them, so in my 2-week free trial, I may have visited my “get off your fricking lard ass, ya lazy slob” club about 3 times.
I figured I’d cancel since the thing costs about $3 per week, and not much point to it if you’re not using it, so I tried calling yesterday (cuz I thought that was 2 weeks) but they’re only available Monday to Friday after 9:00 a.m.
I finally remembered to call before I left work today (since I tried around 8:00 but I hadn’t listened well when the recording said ‘call after 9:00, moron’ and talked to a woman who told me that she was going to deduct x amount of dollars because it’s all prorated.
I asked her what she was talking about and she said that I had to cancel within the 2 week free trial period. I said, “yesterday was 2 weeks” and she said, “no, you signed up for this on FRIDAY, two weeks ago date” where I said, “but it asked me what date I wanted to start and I said the Monday”, and she said, “yes, but you signed up on the Friday, so it was two weeks on the 5th and it’s prorated so we’ll charge you….”
By that point I was very hostile, especially since after I told her to cancel it she kept trying to sell me on it, “well, I know quite a bit about it, perhaps I can help you, why do you want to cancel”. I told her that I wasn’t using it so I just wanted to cancel it.
When she told me it was going to cost me money now after I hadn’t really used it in the two weeks I felt really mad, and I ended up clenching “just cancel it”, in effect that I wasn’t going to bother arguing about $3 (or whatever the fuck it was). Make sure you’re not open on the weekends and that you can’t leave a message to cancel, and that you ask for a date that people want it to start and start it 3 days before that so they can’t cancel without losing some money you fucking money grubbing asswipes.
So that was my day in a nutshell. Boredom, boredom, anger, boredom. Now I’m headed out to see if there’s anything on TV. I could be exercising but I don’t like to exercise when I’m mad. Or happy. Or bored. Or drunk. Or tired. Or excited. Or smoking a cigarette. Oh ho, who snuck that one in there. I guess I can use all that ‘not smoking a cigarette’ time to exercise. What the hell is wrong with you? What’s on TV on Mondays?
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See now I just HAD to go and search for this entry to leave a comment on it.
I’m reminded of a sign over the fancy “bottle store”, (take out booze store for rich folks), It reads. “I only drink champagne when I in Love and when I’m not in Love”, ZsaZsa Gabor