Success – Mathematically
Off at the new 1-month job today. I got there before 8:00, started at 8:15 and got to leave at 4:15 – that makes for a fabulously short day – I was home by 5:00.
I wish that they’d have a job opening while I’m up there – unfortunately, their charitable campaign (the reason I’m there) is only good for a month a year, so that won’t land me anything.
I did have a good day though. Lots of people remembered me and I remembered them (well, their faces, I couldn’t remember anybody’s name). It almost felt like being with friends – that was good.
And because I’m feeling so good, I thought I’d share an email with you that seems appropriate to jobs. It’s all about what it means to give 100%.
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?
Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top!
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idiotonastick
Minna
Dave Barker
I used Moneris for over two years. I recently terminated due to a merchant compliance requiremen t – Moneris began...
Maria
just another
Female, taken, fire, Sagittarius, Monkey, Toronto, two kids, one grandson, IT.
55
is the new 30. I want the world to close their mouths when they’re eating or chewing gum. If they don’t, I want to elbow them in the face.
So that’s how you get more than 100% I remember once getting asked in a job interview if I would give more than 100% and I said no. Perplexed the interviewer asked why? I said cause it’s theoretically impossible to give more than 100% (Who said TV teaches you nothing, thanks Simpsons) After conferring with his associates who agreed with me, I was told thanks for coming. Needless to say, I didn’t get the job
But at least now I have a new answer to give future interviewers.