Ask – July 31st
Ask an Idiot!
Q. How many Canadien women does it take to change a light bulb?
or
Que canadien des femmes prend-il pour changer une ampoule ? (in case of Canadien des Femmes reading)
ZL2ALW
A. There are two answers to these two questions. The English answer is 0. Canadian women know well how to call a man and tell him that the light is burnt out – and that there’s probably a spider nearby that needs killing.
The French answer is trois. Un sur la vis dans l’ampoule, tandis qu’un poutine de marques et l’autre donne à chacun des regards sales tandis que maintenant un air de la supériorité et lui jetant des cheveux outre de elle des épaules.
(translation: One to screw in the bulb, while one makes poutine and the other one gives everyone dirty looks while maintaining an air of superiority and flinging her hair off her shoulders.)
Hold on now – is that a dig at French Canadians? I’m sorry, we only accept questions by email – remember the rules.
Q. Sex – Sounds Good?
Best Pills – Cheap Rates.
Beyond the green swelling hills of the Mittel Land rose mighty slopes of forest up to the lofty steeps of the Carpathians themselves. Right and left of us they towered, with the afternoon sun falling full upon them and bringing out all the glorious colours of this beautiful range, deep blue and purple in the shadows of the peaks, green and brown where grass and rock mingled, and an endless perspective of jagged rock and pointed crags, till these were themselves lost in the distance, where the snowy peaks rose grandly. Here and there seemed mighty rifts in the mountains, through which, as the sun began to sink, we saw now and again the white gleam of falling water. One of my companions touched my arm as we swept round the base of a hill and opened up the lofty, snow-covered peak of a mountain, which seemed, as we wound on our serpentine way, to be right before us.
Internal Virus Database is out-of-date.
A. Well, Mary, I don’t think the second part of your email is phrased quite like a question, but in answer to the first part, “sex – sounds good?”, I’m not too sure that it sounds good. It may be good, but for the sounding part – that’s probably very subjective. However, it is the most fun you can have without laughing.
And to throw it back at ya, does anyone smile when they’re having sex? I saw some movie or TV show the other day and the woman started smiling as things were going along. And I thought, “who smiles… that’s just unrealistic”. Frowning yes, making weird faces, yes, smiling, get real.
I could be wrong, perhaps there are dozens of you out there who actually have a big toothy grin while getting you some, if that’s the case, I’m sorry – you’re gonna have to send me a picture to prove it.
Oh, and BTW, Mary, your virus database is out of date. Fix that up before I send you a little something in reply to your email to me.
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idiotonastick
Minna
Dave Barker
I used Moneris for over two years. I recently terminated due to a merchant compliance requiremen t – Moneris began...
Maria
just another
Female, taken, fire, Sagittarius, Monkey, Toronto, two kids, one grandson, IT.
55
is the new 30. I want the world to close their mouths when they’re eating or chewing gum. If they don’t, I want to elbow them in the face.
Smiling during nooky?
No way! It’s a serious business!