Teach Yourself to Feel Sexy
I saw this link in my email tonight and figured I’d see what it had to say. I don’t think I have to teach myself to feel sexy, cuz overall I do feel sexy. However, had to read whether there was something I was missing.
It said:
If the main thing standing between you and feeling sexy, is what you see as your not-quite-fabulous body, it’s time for a reality check.
“Unfortunately we’re brainwashed by society into thinking slim and fit bodies are sexiest,” says psychosexual therapist and Relationship counsellor Paula Hall.
I don’t know about you, but I kinda agree with the brainwashing that slim and fit bodies are sexier than fat and sweaty bodies, but, who knows? Maybe somewhere out there is some greasy looking lardass who’s as sexy as all get out. In whose eyes, I don’t know, but I guess that’s why they’re gonna give you tips on how to feel sexy, not necessarily be sexy.
They go on to say, “So what can we do to feel confident and sexy?”
- Try to let go of the old belief ‘I’m not sexy’ and replace it with: ‘I am sexy.’ Yes, start your own fan club while you’re at it. Maybe you can also convince yourself that you are Angelina Jolie – why not? If you’re gonna lie to yourself, you might as well go all out.
- Stand in front of a mirror and look for things you like about your reflection. Do you have nice hands? Shiny hair? Soft skin? An eye-catching cleavage? Think about your other attributes too. Have you got a sexy voice or a good sense of humour? Can you give a good back massage? If the only good thing you can think of about yourself is that you give a good massage, you must be butt ugly.
- If you can stop putting yourself down, you’ll feel instantly sexier, says psychotherapist and hypnotherapist Anne Lee Cousins. Instead of worrying about your cellulite or the shape of your thighs, try saying ‘I have strong, sexy thighs’. Don’t forget to also say that you’ve got a huge womanly ass that goes with your strong, sexy thighs and those ample bosoms with the jiggling, lyrical arms
- Take your life off hold. Use the energy you spend obsessing about your weight and body to do something that will help you feel good. Take up exercise, see friends, and find new interests. Don’t wait until you’ve lost weight to enjoy life. So they’re telling you to go exercise. Good advice.
- Take up strength training. Research shows lifting weights can improve your body image. Once you start to recognise what your body is capable of you’ll view it as an ally, rather than an enemy. More exercise. So I guess they were just trying to suck you in with that ‘you’re so sexy’ stuff, they really want you to change.
- Treat yourself to some special underwear. Special meaning lacy or silky underwear will make you feel sexy, I know, I’ve done it. But special meaning Sponge Bob Squarepants underwear will not make you feel sexy. And neither will finding out that there are no sexy underwear in your size.
I wasn’t overly impressed with their advice. And obviously I’d know about that kinda stuff, since I managed to score 77% on the slut quiz.
See… I know sexy. Alright, I’m off to watch American Idol and all those non-sexy feeling people – except for the Ace guy who continually gazes into the camera. That’s not sexy Ace, it’s just fucking sickening.
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Dave Barker
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Maria
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55
is the new 30. I want the world to close their mouths when they’re eating or chewing gum. If they don’t, I want to elbow them in the face.
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