Gawd, I’m Frickin Old
Don’t ask me why I’m obsessed with this lately… perhaps it’s because of that 10x mirror I got. I can see every stinking line in my face. I can see every line that was too miniscule for me to notice before. I’m just hoping nobody else has magnifeyes, so they can’t see them.
Do you know, that under my eyes – you know, where the BAGS under my eyes are, there are 8 zillion little wrinkles all interconnected. That’s not even when I’m smiling! They’re just sitting there. They own me.
And those creams I own? Those anti-aging creams I own? I don’t think they do a damned thing. In the magazine pictures, you know the ones, half her face is old, half her face has used the wrinkle cream for a couple of days, they seem to work. They are not working here.
Do you think that the manufacturers are lying to me? Are these products made for idiots like me who just believe everything they see? Dum, dee, dum, dum, let me buy more cream.
On Friday I go for my botox shot. Yes, I’m gonna do it. That wrinkle in between my eyebrows is driving me nuts. Of course that was before I saw all those spidery lines under my eyes, but I don’t think I can botox those away.
So what I want to do is take a before and after shot. One of these nights when my honey is home I’m gonna say, “ay my snookie wookie, why don’t you take a real close up picture of that big, deep, hideous gash running in between my eyebrows?” And he’ll say, “ok”. Then I’ll post it up here for those of you who like to look at car crashes.
After my shot – and after about a week or two, which they say is the time it takes for it to kick in – I’ll post another picture of my gorgeous, young-looking, wrinkle-free eyebrowal area. Is there a name for that stupid eyebrowal area?
Let me say that the stupid botox thing better work. I’ll be pretty pissed off if I spend that kinda money and it turns out to be like the stupid creams that don’t work.
I’m starting to feel like I should be hiding in a closet all day so no one would have to look at me. And have I said ‘stupid’ enough? Stupid fucking aging.
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idiotonastick
Minna
Dave Barker
I used Moneris for over two years. I recently terminated due to a merchant compliance requiremen t – Moneris began...
Maria
just another
Female, taken, fire, Sagittarius, Monkey, Toronto, two kids, one grandson, IT.
55
is the new 30. I want the world to close their mouths when they’re eating or chewing gum. If they don’t, I want to elbow them in the face.
Old schmold, who cares? A few wrinkles!, sheesh, it just shows maturity and that you have lived.
Botox Mmmm that will do the trick, NOT. You do know that it doesn’t last yes?, and it takes more than ONE needle to do it right.
The most beautiful woman I ever knew was my Great-grandmother at 95, wrinkles and all, all she had to do was look at me and smile. Then I didn’t see the wrinkles or anything else just the inner glow.
Blessed be BFG