jafer
Fuhq
Leticia
Matt
Sunny
Female, taken, fire, Sagittarius, Monkey, Toronto, two kids, one grandson, IT.
55
is the new 30. I want the world to close their mouths when they’re eating or chewing gum. If they don’t, I want to elbow them in the face. Happy New Year
I know I’m a day early for new year but since I thought of it, I figured I’d say it.
Since I’m not really in a talking mood at the moment, I’ll just say Happy New Year! and hope you have one. I have no plans for new year’s eve at the moment. If I’m feeling good tomorrow, maybe I’ll go out somewhere and get hammered – it would be nice if getting hammered would give me a 10-hour sleep, hopefully not a 3 or 4-hour sleep and then getting up feeling like shit.
Anyway, party yourselves silly tomorrow night and I’ll do it too – in some way 
What’s Wrong with 4:30?
Sometimes I wake up at 3:30am, so I should be ecstatic for the sleep in to 4:30 – sometimes even 5:30 *woohoo!*.
I think I’m on my 4th week of relaxation, meaning no more chemo for another couple of weeks. I saw my family doctor and asked her to get me an appointment with an allergist, so that happens this week.
I’ve been doing a bunch of wondering – like do I want to bother with the chemo, especially since it’s gonna be stronger, which means I’ll also be on stronger anti-nausea pills. I’m wondering just what this is gonna do for me and should I even bother.
This Wednesday I go in to see the neuro doctor who I guess will also give me the results of this past week’s MRI. I’ll assume there’s a bunch of cancer gone, just based on that surgery, except I wasn’t too thrilled with my last appointment with him where he showed me the temporal lobe with a whole bunch of ‘net looking’ cancer going all across my temporal lobe. That just makes you feel like ‘well WyTF was I doing anything’?
I’m not feeling bad today, so I guess I should stop whining to myself and just shut up my thinking in some way. I’ll sit here drinking my tea, maybe make some jewellery, and I should probably go out to Costco since I’ve heard the weather’s not too bad. It’s really strange the days I’m at home, not going out. So boring while I try to amuse myself on Facebook and read others’ posts and play a game *yawn*.
Lots of appointments this week so I hope that ‘not too freezing cold’ weather lasts each time I’m out. And while I’m at it, I hope that outside starts brightening up soon, even though I know that doesn’t happen til after 7:30am. I like it when I can open the blinds and see the light. That makes daylight seem safe and optimistic to me.
Second Week Here
So I’m here, not taking radiation or chemo and, in general, liking it. I haven’t had to take the anti-nausea pills too often, I pretty much try to ignore that feeling when it’s happening and maybe eat something so that it might make me feel better. Some days I feel like I’ve had a whole bunch of stuff to eat (compared to my usual eating), other days I’m just having anything to eat – even a cookie – just cuz my stomach seems to be growling like crazy.
I think I have to call my family doctor to set up an appointment – the appointment to get her to set up other appointments for me, one with some kind of stomach doctor, and the other with an allergist. I want to find out what keeps causing pain, pukiness, and so much growling in my stomach. I also want to find out if I’m allergic to more stuff since I seem to have a whole bunch of sneezing a lot. It worries me to have 5 sneezes in a row cuz it makes me think, ‘doesn’t a sneeze stop your heart for a second?’.
I have this strange sense of smell lately. One thing I smell really strongly is garlic… garlic coming out of other people, breath or skin, and that almost makes me sick. I had to go to my neighbour who lives below me, just to tell him how the smell of his cooking has always come up into my place. I open my kitchen window, turn on the fan, try to stay away from the kitchen, but if I need to make myself a tea… I’m right where there’s a really strong smell.
I always loved garlic, even the caesar salad, so I’m wondering if I’m now allergic to garlic just because that smell comes to me so strongly and makes me feel pukey. So I should get off my lazy ass and call my family doctor’s office to set something up. God knows I don’t want to be able to smell as much as I’m smelling.
Anyway – my usual ‘anyway’, in about 9 days I go for my other MRI to see what they have for details and whatever those details will mean to me. Since each of the doctors seem to say something different, I don’t know what to think or what I know.
On December 2nd I go to check out a new thing called DCA. It’s supposed to be less drug-type of a drug, more natural. When I read about how sometimes it didn’t work unless it was shared with stuff like chemo, it worries me about whether it really does do anything or not. However, my appointment is scheduled mostly because I want info from them and I will decide at that point whether or not I think I should be trying this.
So that’s my yapping for today. Yes I’m stopping (you’re welcome). We’ll talk when I remember to yap again