Idiot on a Stick

So here’s the poop that I haven’t gotten around to writing about.

He brought pictures that I’d asked for. There were two of him younger, one as he is about now, and one really young one of my mother. Therefore, I knew that he had at least proof of knowing my mother.

I met with my new dad last Tuesday at Coffee Time. Things got off to a strange start when I went to buy us the coffee and tea and realized that I didn’t have my wallet with me (I have been locking it up so that my daughter stops stealing my money). Therefore, my nice gesture turned into an, “oh crap, sorry, I don’t have my wallet” (ya right), ‘that’s ok, I’ll buy it’, situation.

We discussed things for about an hour and a half. And keep in mind that, in the meantime, I had ordered a paternity test for us to take that was going to cost me $500. I never even got around to that discussion. I believed him. I started off believing him when I looked and saw his BROWN eyes. I know we’ve all heard those stories about the two blue-eyed people producing the brown-eyed baby. The ‘recessive gene‘, sure, recessive gene, did the recessive gene also make my son oriental, honey?

He told me that he met my mother at a dance club that she and her friends (and sometimes her sister) used to frequent in the neighbourhood. He went out with her for a while. And by ‘a while’, I think he mentioned something like two years, but I suppose I could be wrong about that.

Anyway, he wanted to get married and settle down, while she was already married and, in those days, unable to get a divorce, being a good Catholic, never mind waiting around 16 years to try for the annulments. They kind of drifted apart a bit, until one day he went to see her and she had just upped and gone.

He didn’t know WrTF she’d gone or how she’d be able to find another teaching job quickly, he thought that maybe she’d moved back to PEI. At some later point he’d heard that she was pregnant, or had a baby, but by that time he’d already gotten married. As a matter of fact, from the way he told it, he was just itching to get married. It was so fast that he’d married someone else, I was thinking that ‘love’ never entered his mind, this was just a guy who was dying to get married and have kids.

He said he ran into her a couple of times. Once when I was young and I happened to be playing in a recital where his own kids were playing, whereupon my mother said, “there’s Jafer over there”. Another time about 30 years ago, he said he ran into her at a Harvey’s where she and (another teacher) had just finished their lunches and were going back to work.

The next thing you know, the mother is dead and the biological father is showing up at the funeral.

One more thing that made me believe he was my father? He didn’t want anything. He had given me $5000 on our first meeting, but it wasn’t a scam and he didn’t want anything from me. As a matter of fact, he doesn’t even want a relationship with me. He said that he’s unable to tell his wife of 50 years because he didn’t know how she’d handle that 50-year-old secret. But he gave me one daughter’s phone number in case I ever needed to get ahold of him. He’d only told the one daughter because he felt that he could trust her with the secret.

So, that’s the story of my dad. He gave me a hug (and teeny air kiss on the cheek) upon departure. I felt kinda abandoned. Not only had I just lost my mother (although I don’t think I ever had her), but now I’d just lost my dad. It was a weird feeling, this abandonment. But I said I accepted that was the way he needed it to be. I had also been looking forward to meeting my four sisters having been an only child my entire life.

Now I’m supposed to meet with my aunt on the weekend. I’m dying to hear what she has to say. If she doesn’t confirm what he’s told me, I’m going to whip out a picture of him when younger and say, ‘recognize this guy?’, especially when you consider that he said that my mother at the dance club was sometimes with his sister.

I’ll write about that part too. Now I’ve got to go do something with myself.

Well I guess I can forget this day now, just like I never knew when Father’s Day was, not having a father.

I’m not expecting anything from my kids, as usual. It would be nice to be pleasantly surprised but I think that the card my snookey gave me is probably the only thing I’ll get. He’s such a sweetheart. He just buys me cards for all occasions, even though I’m not his mother.

That doesn’t stop me though from wishing all you mothers a Happy Mother’s Day, now does it? I wish you breakfast in bed, a day of relaxation, nice cards and a little gift from your kids (a hand-made card from those who are really young). There’s nothing sweeter than those hand-made cards, especially if they’ve got some made up poem inside them.

I await my cleaning lady, which is, if it happens, a nice Mother’s Day gift to myself.

Did I tell you that I hired a cleaning lady the other day? Of course I didn’t tell you, I haven’t written since Monday!

I was just googling and found one on kijiji, so I phoned her up and discussed it. She said the price was $100 for my 1300 sq. ft. 3-bedroom place. I thought it was a little steep, but then I don’t know what regular cleaning lady prices are, so I said ok.

My snookey was home and I was at work. She arrived at 9:00. I told him to get her last name, address, phone number and driver’s licence number. I just want to be prepared in case we invite in a thief. So he got all that except that she had a Michigan driver’s licence, even though she said she’s lived and worked here for 13 years. Hmmm.

When she looked at the place she said it was filthy. Hearing that, I took a little offence since it’s not so much filthy as messy with stuff everywhere that needs to be put away. However, with that said, the whole reason I was hiring a cleaning lady was to clean. If I had any spare time lately I could clean the filthy place myself.

My snookey had told me the day before that most people clean before the cleanig lady comes, but I refuse to do that because if I had time to do that I wouldn’t need her.

Because it was so filthy she wanted more money… $30 more. I had already discussed all situations with my honey and more money was not an option I was willing to pay, nor was any money if she tried the ‘money for her trip’ thing.

So he told her no more money and I guess he must have been dismissing her because she then said she’d do it for $100 again. However, this time my snookey refused, greediness was showing her the door. She sputtered and spewed about the hours of driving over here (her address said she lived about 15 mniutes up the street from us) and my snookey pulled out a $10. She was insulted and refused the $10. I would have said so what to her travelling time.

Needless to say I did a little more googling and on Sunday (Mother’s Day - not like I have anywhere to go) when they’re not busy, someone’s supposed to arrive at 10:00 from Home Services. This one will cost $15/hour, or $12/hour if you have them weekly, for a minimum of 5 hours which would cost me a total of $75. These ones will even do laundry.

We’ll see how it goes on Sunday (and whether she stays to work in my filthy home). Then, when I have time I’ll finally write about the meeting with ‘my dad’.